Little Drummer Girl

One of Dave’s co-workers had an extra Rock Band drum set that he gave to Dave yesterday. Dave set it up in the family room and it was quite a hit at our house last night. Please meet the next Sheila E . . . . .

Okay, I admit, she’s not quite up to the standards of Sheila E yet (after all, she is holding one of the drumsticks upside-down), but she’s on her way!!!!!

Now, completely off the subject of our little drummer girl, I’m always interested in reading books and articles about adoption, race, and different cultures. Today I came across a blog called ‘Resist Racism’ and found this post to be very interesting and thought provoking http://resistracism.wordpress.com/2009/09/08/a-surprise-to-white-people/. Please take a moment to read it and give me your thoughts.

5 thoughts on “Little Drummer Girl

  1. Great pictures of Lili!On another note, I looked up that blog you mentioned. From there, I started clicking on other blogs. I was VERY alarmed by the number of adoptee blogs that are negative/conflicted/disturbed/etc about being adopted. Will our sweet little girls feel like this someday? What can we do to prevent this? Thoughts???

  2. I read the post…I felt a bit like the commenters were negative to folks who are not racist, like we are lying…not sure if I am reading this right or not. I do take each person at face value. I teach my kids to also..is this wrong? What should we do differently if we are being mocked for teaching our kids to accept everyone? I am not saying growing up black or a minority is the same as growing up white, I know it sadly isnt the same experiences but it should be. How do we over come all the negative feelings (by all races)both shown and just under the surface?

  3. Rhonda – I'm sure Uncle Ron would be so proud. So is daddy :-)Emily – I haven't had time to read through the other blogs. However, like most things in life, adoption has evolved over time. It is the norm now to start talking to our children from the very beginning about how their family was created, their adoption, their bio family, etc. It hasn't always been this way. Adoptive parents would wait until the kids were "old enough to understand," but how does one know when a child is truly "old enough to understand?" Obviously, there was a different approach if the child's skin color was different from the rest of the family, but open discussion about adoption still wasn't the norm. We now have more information and understand the importance of having those conversations much earlier in life. Open adoptions are extremely common vs. closed adoptions of the past. IA adoptive families make efforts to take their children back to their birth countries and some even maintain relationships with their child's birth family. All of this is to say that while there are no guarantees that there aren't going to be angry and bitter adult adoptees 15 or 20 years from now, I think the new approach is much healthier and has a much better outcome.Maria – While I agree that the blogger was being negative, I found myself really thinking about the points being made. How many conversations did I have with my boys about race over the years? I can recall maybe 1 or 2. Why is that? Was it the face that we're white and just didn't feel it was important? As embarrassed as I am to admit it, the truth is that we were a white family, living in a primarily white neighborhood and we didn't feel it was something that needed to be discussed in our house. For a matter-of-fact, we eventually moved from our primarily white neighborhood back to the town I was raised in where over 99% of the town is white. Add to that the fact that growing up I don't remember one discussion of skin color with either of my parents. I also had a grandmother that was extremely racist which is probably one of the reasons my parents didn't have discussions about race with me.I was ignorant and although I can't change the past, I can certainly change what I do in the future. Conversation about race and tolerance happen much more frequently now. My desire to understand the feelings and experiences of people from every race and walk of life is one of the reasons I enjoy reading different articles, books and blog posts about race and culture. Yes, there will always be people who feel it necessary to spew negativity about race. I can't change other people, but I can change me. I am a work in progress who is trying to show a higher level of love, compassion, and acceptance to all humans, no matter the color of their skin; regardless of their abilities or disabilities; regardless of their religious beliefs; even if I differ with them politically (LOL). My hope is that I can set an example for my children that will give them the desire to also show love, compassion and acceptance to others. If I can do that, than I will have made a difference in this world.

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