Try, Try Again

I’ve started several blog posts over the last week and have yet to finish any of them.

Writer’s block?

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A little bit.

I have things to write about.  After all, I’m living life and that alone gives all of us something to write about.  My struggle seems to be fear.  Fear that I’m going to cross a line if I share too many of my thoughts and feelings.  Fear that my readers won’t want to read.  Fear of negative comments.

Fear!

This is my blog.  I should be able to write whatever I feel and if someone doesn’t like it, they can move on, right?!

Some are very good about doing this.  Others feel it is their destiny in life to criticize and condemn those who they don’t agree with.  It’s the single biggest reason I dislike social media.  It’s also one of the biggest reasons I removed myself from Facebook a few years ago (although after 1 1/2 years I returned).  Still, it’s those very people who feel the need to share their negativity with the world that I fear.

Silly, I suppose.  After all, I can easily delete comments, but I also think that everyone has a right to their opinion.  I just wish that those who want to share their opinion when not asked, would simply go write their own blog instead of stopping by to share their thoughts on a blog that doesn’t belong to them.  It’s what one invites into their life by blogging though.

So here I sit, with lots of thoughts on politics, equal rights, gardening, foster care, adoption, religion, woman’s rights, children, family, white privilege, travel, animals, pets, and much much more.  Some topics seeming to be non-controversial, while others easily ruffle feathers.

Instead, today I’ll write about trying and trying over and over again to work up the nerve to state my opinion on various topics.  Topics that I want my children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren to know about me when I’m gone.  My diary of sorts, put out on public display for others to read then decide to agree, disagree or not really care about.

And next time you tune in, you’ll either be reading about my children, adoption, my attempts at raising money for a foster care project (you can click here to see what I’m talking about), gardening or maybe, just maybe my thoughts on Trump or equal rights or racism.

 

 

Busy Day

I’ve been trying to get into a better blogging routine in the last week and was doing pretty well until today.

We head out on our cruise this Sunday and I am in full cleaning and packing mode.  As such, my blog has taken a back seat.

While we’re gone, I will be disconnecting, so there will be no blog posts published.  I do, however, plan to write a little something every day.  When I return, I should have several posts, with photos, ready to share.

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Blog Therapy

Since posting Big Feelings, I have begun to feel a little better.  Not that I don’t still miss the boys, but sharing my sadness and heartbreak has led to some healing.  It has also helped that friends have reached out to me.  Many understand, at least a little of what I’ve been going thru. Hearing from others helps me feel more normal and that I’m not alone.

So I guess it’s official – Blog Therapy works!

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Now I wonder if I’ll be able to let go of the feeling that we should still continue down the path of helping other children in foster care?  Having a heart for those who are most vulnerable is so rewarding, but at time it really sucks!  As my husband has reminded me many times, we can’t help them all.  Still with millions in need, I can’t help but question at what point we must say “stop.”  After all, if we hadn’t left Illinois, we would still have the boys.  Thus, we wouldn’t have stopped.

And the blog therapy continues.

 

NEWS – Turning a Corner

NEWS!  In this case is stands for North, East, West, South.  Direction!  It’s something I’m struggling with lately in regards to my blog.

I’m in a rut and I feel a bit lost on which direction I should take my blog.  I want it to be in a place that makes me happy, because ultimately I need to be happy with my blog and I’m not there right now.

When I started writing almost 8 years ago, it seemed so simple.

Hubby and I were on a very big adventure.  We were adopting and there was so much to write about. I wanted to share all the pictures of this beautiful baby girl that we were bringing into our lives, our home and our family.  I wanted to share the ups and downs of adoption.  I wanted to document the journey and have something that our daughter could take with her thru life.

From the beginning

 

Adoption #2 was a different experience, yet I still had much to share, but I also had a lot of things happening here at home.  Lili was growing quickly which gave me lots of stories to share along the way.  The blog turned a corner and I was not just documenting our adoption journey, but was documenting our life as a growing family.

Starting again!

 

After bringing Naomi home, we were adjusting to life with one more when tragedy struck and we lost our youngest son.  I was grieving my son while also feeling happiness that I now had two beautiful little girls in my life.  It’s was a STRUGGLE!!!!!  I had to be strong for my girls at a time when I didn’t feel strong.  I had to do everything I could to help them feel safe and secure when I felt my world had just fallen apart.  As a result, the blog turned another corner.

Our life moved forward.  The girls continued to grow.  I took on the challenge of becoming a homeschool mom.  Hubby and I made a decision to significantly change direction in life hoping to leave our life here and settle on a small farm somewhere.  Then life changed direction on us causing us to put farming on habitual hold.  We also opened our home to foster children again, accepting two little boys into our lives.  Then most recently we decided to get back into camping.  No tent camping this time around.  We’ll take our second home on the road as soon as our RV, Georgette (a name I just now decided to throw into the ring of possibilities) arrives.  And once again I feel my blog turning a corner.

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So many things have happened in our lives over the last 8 years.  Big things which gave me lots of material to blog about.   And somehow, even with 4 kids under the age of 8 living under this roof, I feel a little lost.  No big life events happening, just the day-to-day stuff that keeps me busy.

My blog is turning a corner.  I don’t know if I’ll take it to the north, east, west or south, but I need to find a direction that makes the most sense and write about those things that matter to me and my family.

Hopefully, one day I won’t ponder this so much and will instead sit down at the keyboard and have the words that describe this crazy life of ours with lots of pictures to share.  I think that’s what my girls will want to one day look back on.

 

1001 Posts

This is blog post 1001. I didn’t realize I had hit the 1000th post mark when I posted yesterday, so the little quote I am now so fond of was more appropriate than I realized – Don’t Quit.

I have stuck it out with my little blog for 6 1/2 years, although not all those years have been on WordPress (I started with Blogger before moving to WordPress) and it’s been a great way of journaling all the ups and downs as the Weeks’ Family travels our journey thru life.

Thank you for reading and following along.  I hope you’ll continue to check in from time to time as we strive to reach our dream of having our little piece of the country to build our homestead.  Who knows what might happen on this adventure!

My Homestead Hubby

Although my blog isn’t totally dedicated to our homesteading/hobby farming hopes, dreams and plans, it has become a big part of my blog.  Some of my blog posts have come out of conversations hubby and I have had, but many of our conversations have never been shared out here.  My blog is about our journey thru life and that encompasses a lot of different topics and hubby has his own thoughts and ideas about our homestead that I have chosen not to share simply because they are his.  So earlier this year I convinced my hubby that he needed his own homesteading blog.   A journal where he can share his thoughts, feelings and ideas about our homesteading/hobby farming dream.  Me writing from my perspective and hubby writing from his is bound to be interesting, right?

He agreed to give it a shot and started blogging, but after a few posts he quit.  He just quit blogging.  I don’t even pretend to understand this!

What I do understand is that he has a job outside the home and his job carries over into the evening at home many nights.  He also has duties here at home.  His honey-do list isn’t getting any shorter folks.   So I get it – blogging isn’t always the first thing on his agenda.  But he is a ‘good’ writer.  In fact, a much better writer than I am and he has mentioned writing a book several times over our 28 years of marriage.  So why not blog?  Why not use this as a springboard toward something bigger one day?  Why not share his thoughts, feelings, hopes and dreams about our future homestead in blogland?

Apparently, my nagging worked because he’s back to blogging and hopefully more than just a few posts.

Jump on over to  http://homesteadhubby.wordpress.com/ and follow him on our journey to the homesteading lifestyle.