I won’t fill in on the details, as this story could easily become a novel. However, I will share some of the highlights, so it makes a little more sense in the end.
It all started back in the late 70’s. My boyfriend had a party at his home after a concert. Many of our friends and family were there and we were introduced to a young man from the area. He came with a mutual friend and shortly thereafter we began to see him on a regular basis. He was a regular at our house and other events and we all became great friends.
1+ years later, I married my boyfriend and the young man lived just a few blocks away. He regularly came over for dinner. He joined us for games of ping-pong in our basement and attended Dungeons and Dragons games my husband hosted. He was a wonderful friend, who made me laugh and would keep me company some evenings when my husband was working late into the night.
Eventually, this young man joined the Army and walked out of our life. From time-to-time, I would get updates from his mom, but when my husband and I moved to another town, we pretty much lost any contact we had with the young man.
A couple of years later I was a single mom living in a small apartment near my family. My now ex-husband called to tell me that the young man had paid him a visit. He was home on leave and was making contact with some old friends. My ex-husband encouraged him to call me for a visit so he could see how much the boys had grown and he wanted to let me know I would probably be hearing from the young man.
Several days went by with no contact, so I called his mom to see if he was still home or if he had returned overseas. We had developed such a good friendship over the years and I was anxious to see him again and find out how life was treating him. His mom assured me he was still home for a visit and would have him call. A few more days went by and no contact so I called again. He was still home for several more days and I his mom once again said she would ask him to call.
He finally returned my call and I invited him over for a visit. The boys and I were at my parent’s house doing laundry and the young many can over for a visit. We chatted about his life, my life, the boys and everything in between. My sister agreed to watch the boys so the young man and I could go out to chat more. I knew this might be the last time I would see him before he left again and it’s hard to catch up on years missed, especially with two little guys underfoot.
The young man and I had a fantastic visit. He admitted that he wasn’t going to call me. After all, his friendship with me previously was a result of his stronger friendship with my now ex-husband and he felt it would be awkward seeing me. Yet we had both changed. The Army has a way of turning boys into men and for me, marriage, kids and a divorce caused me to look at life very differently and I felt like I had become a better person in the end. The young man and I discovered that we had much more in common than we did before and we saw each other daily until he left for his life in Army.
The friendship once shared had changed. We became closer friends. We became a couple.
For the following 10 months we wrote letters and made phone calls. We continued our relationship, he on one side of the world and me on the other. We learned more and more about each other – our likes, our dislikes, fears, dreams, and where we wanted to be in the future.
The young man returned stateside in October, 1985 and on November 3, 1985 we were married. It wasn’t an easy road for either of us. To say that some family members weren’t in favor of us marrying is an understatement. We were a blended family learning how to be a couple, while also learning how to parent the boys as a couple. We have had more than our fair share of heartaches, the biggest one of course was losing our son 4 years ago. Yet 29 years later here we are. Hubby and I together now raising two beautiful girls that became ours through adoption. Caring for two little boys via foster care. We’ve built a life, that hasn’t always been easy, but it’s our life and I can’t imagine sharing it with anyone else.
Each year I post a video of the song that represents us in so many ways and this year should be no different.
To my hubby – I love you!!! You are my heart and soul. You are the rock that helps keep me grounded. You are a wonderful father and partner. I know life hasn’t always been easy, but it’s never been boring and I know that our love is strong enough to withstand any obstacles that come our way.
You were and still are the one and only for me.