Lili and I went shopping to purchase some things to send to Naomi. A family from our agency is traveling next week and graciously offered to deliver a package for us, so it was over the river and through the woods to Target we go. Okay, so we didn’t cross any rivers, but we crossed a couple creeks and did go through some woods 🙂 We found a cute little sleeper that says, “Mommy and daddy love me,” bought a few little toys, an infant photo book, and a disposable camera. I put pictures of our family in the photo book and have no idea if the camera will be used or if we’ll get it back, but I wanted to at least try. We have so many pictures of Lili that were taken by her foster family while we waited and I so hope we will have at least a few of Naomi.
They say that a woman won’t necessarily have two pregnancies that are alike and what I’ve discovered is that two adoptions aren’t necessarily alike either. For many reasons, my experiences with Naomi’s adoption has been very different from Lili’s. Granted, there is the whole issue of adopting from a completely different country, but the emotions this time around have been very different as well. I had just expressed to Dave a couple days ago that I was feeling a bit guilty because I have felt somewhat detached this time. When we received Lili’s referral I stared at her photos constantly and was obsessed with every little detail of the process. I’m very aware that Lili is distracting me and that is a big reason that things are different, but there are other differences as well. We connected with Lili’s foster family early on in the process. They had a computer and email so we purchased a web cam for them and were able to see Lili via the computer. They were very good at taking pictures and sending them to us as well. When she was 5 months old we went to visit and I visited again a few months later. Naomi isn’t in a foster home and Ethiopia is not a quick 5 hour flight away. I don’t have the same access to information about Naomi and I had about Lili. However, as I was shopping for Naomi today a wave of emotion came over me and the detachment that I have felt seemed to quickly disappear. Nothing like getting teary in Target. It was almost like this adoption has been a dream and I woke up to realize that it’s not a dream, but really happening. I have felt a love for Naomi since before we got her referral, but that love grew tremendously today. Who would have thought that a shopping trip to Target would bring about so many emotions? I’ll try to continue to wait patiently, but have a feeling that I’m going to fail miserably.
For those who have gone through more than one adoption, what were your emotional experiences like?