Adoption brings about many knowns and unknowns; many ups and downs; many questions with not so many answers. Ultimately, we all have dreams and expectations. We have visions of the end of the journey when we are united with our child. Unfortunately, those dreams and expectations don’t always match the reality and the reality sometimes forces adoptive families to make decisions they didn’t imagine they would ever have to make.
Today, my heart breaks for a friend who had to make the very difficult decision of returning her child to the orphanage and reversing the adoption. My heart aches for the child who will continue to live life in the orphanage.
Unfortunately, the choice to dissolve an adoption seems to bring out the ugly side of many people. It’s easy to sit outside the doors of someone’s life and judge them for decisions they have made. Yet those so quick to judge and condemn another person’s decision, a decision that no doubt caused much turmoil and agony, aren’t the ones living and experiencing the life of the person they so quickly judge. It’s not necessary to understand or agree with the decisions of another person, but it is necessary to show love, compassion and support. Think of how much better place this world would be if every person could figure out how to make those three things part of their every day life.
I don’t know if my friend will read this blog post or not, but in case she does – I am so sorry that you had to make such an agonizing decision. Please know that I love you and I am here for you.
And to those who are quick to judge – please find a way to allow love, support and compassion into your everyday life. After all, it’s likely that someday you’ll need others to show you those same three things.