Do You Remember the Time

I wrote a blog post every day or at least every couple of days.  Those days seem to be long gone now and I do know that between 5 kids, a husband, a house, homeschooling and just living, the blog has taken a backseat.  Still, I hate that I’m not on top of blogging on a regular basis.  It really is therapeutic and I’m likely going to need some therapy over the next week.

One week from today, there will be a placement hearing about moving Baby Girl from our care to the care of a relative.

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It doesn’t matter that she came to us straight from the hospital.  It doesn’t matter that in almost 4 months, mom has only seen her a handful of times.  It doesn’t matter that mom has been given her list of services and isn’t working any of them.  It doesn’t matter that dad isn’t in the picture at this time.  It doesn’t matter that this family member has a denied home study.  It doesn’t matter that Baby Girl is being moved from the only home and family she has known to complete strangers.  It doesn’t matter that she’s thriving in our home.

It does matter that they are family.  It does matter that the state would only have to pay half of what they pay foster families.  It does matter that by moving her, the state is less liable for anything that might happen while she is in the care of family.

Not that I’m bitter or emotional at all about this (she says sarcastically).  I suppose I shouldn’t be bitter or emotional since I signed up to do foster care and know full well that I will likely say good-bye to each child that walks thru our door.  But at the same time, Baby Girl has been loved, nurtured, and adored for almost 4 months now.  She has become very much part of our family and she is as attached to us as we are to her.  I don’t think this state often does what is truly within the best interest of the child.  I guess that means it’s my job to do what is in their best interest while I have them.

So in one week we will get a call letting us know whether or not she is being removed from our care and into the care of a family member.  Because of the judge overseeing the case, the chances of this happening are very, very high.  As such, we have to do everything we can to prepare ourselves for broken hearts next week.

In the meantime, we did have a good Christmas.  It wasn’t the Christmas we thought we would have though.

On the 21st, we were informed that the little boy we had (the one we told would be with us thru Christmas) would be picked up and taken to a relative.  About 30 minutes after he left, we got a call about two little girls who needed placement and within a few hours they were walking thru our door.  The oldest is 4 and the youngest is 17 months.

They came to us with the clothes on their backs.  Nothing more, nothing less.  We scrambled to get them clothes and gifts for Christmas.

Then, in the wee hours of the morning on Christmas Eve, hubby, Lili and I were all sick.  There is never a good time to be sick, but I’m not sure there could have been a worse time either.  There were gifts to wrap and preparations to complete.  We had family scheduled to come over that afternoon, which we had to postpone.  Of course there was also that little job of elf that needed to happen Christmas night.

Hubby got hit the hardest and I knew he would not have the energy or strength to help.  So I dug deep, did a lot of self-talk and got it done.

Having both parents down for the count meant that there were disappointments as well.

Naomi wanted Cinnabons for breakfast on Christmas morning.

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There was no way we could make that happen though.  Not only did either of us have the energy to get to the nearest Cinnabon, but we certainly didn’t want to expose everyone in the store to the flu.  So Cinnabon would have to wait for another day.

Our nephew was visiting from out-of-state and we were not able to see him.  Can’t say I blame him for not wanting to walk into the infirmary.

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At least two of us didn’t have the Christmas spirit we usually have and then later that day, Baby Girl threw up.  She was the one I really wanted to try to protect from getting sick.  Somehow, she managed to smiled and coo thru it all!

Now Christmas is over.  The tree has been taken down.  We’re having a major cold snap, so there hasn’t been a lot of time outside the house.

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Our two newest are starting to really settle in and we’re preparing for the likely change of Baby Girl moving on.

But that’s our life.  We’re doing what we feel we should be doing.   It’s difficult and it’s  sad, but it’s also rewarding and has left us with happy memories many times overs.   As such, we’ll continue to do this as long as we can.  Maybe one day we’ll accept a placement that will never leave.  Until then, we’ll do all we can to make life as good as we can for these little ones and hope that when they move on, they have a wonderful life.

3 thoughts on “Do You Remember the Time

  1. susan

    Hug her from me! You know, your forever kids are learning a lot about the world and life and changes and inevitabilities and grieving and celebrating… What you are doing is incredible for everyone involved, even though I know your heart breaks every time a child leaves. Consider yourself hugged!

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