Questions I’m Pondering – Deep Thoughts

I have deep thoughts and those thoughts cause me to ask many questions.

In my blogs over the last several months, I have primarily discussed foster care, so it may shock some do discover that my thoughts and questions are not only about foster care.  I have many thoughts about many different topics and quite honestly, I’m sometimes fearful to write about those things that are more controversial.

Since my blog was meant to chronicle the World of Weeks, if I don’t write about all my many question or deep thoughts, than I’m not really providing an accurate chronicle of life in the World of Weeks.  After all, our life is not just about foster care, adoption and homeschooling.  It is so much more, so let me share something I’ve been pondering.

Recently, I’ve been thinking of all the people from different countries who fled because they weren’t safe in their country.

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They fled for their freedom.  They fled for opportunity.  They fled for their lives.

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How many who didn’t flee, stayed because they didn’t think things were all that bad?

How many who didn’t flee, stayed because they thought they could fight back?

How many who didn’t flee, stayed because they thought things would improve?

How many who didn’t flee, stayed out of fear of fleeing?

All of my childhood and most of my adulthood, I’ve not been able to even imagine the thoughts going thru these people’s minds.  I’ve never had to live my life with any real concerns for my safety of the safety of my family because of my government.

Sadly, for the first time in my life, I feel concern.  I feel fear.

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I question how safe it is to live in the U.S. today.

I now have a small glimpse into the life of the millions before me who found themselves in a situation they didn’t dream possible.

I feel a sadness, like I’ve never felt before, for all those before me who have found themselves living in fear and struggling to find a way out.

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Does this mean we should all flee the U.S. for a safer place?

Not necessarily.  After all, our government has been set up to provide checks and balances in an effort to prevent any one person from being in complete power, right?!

Still,  I never imagined that I would see a U.S. president that is so clearly pouring fuel on so many fires and that by doing so, puts American citizens at risk.

I never imagined that I would see a U.S. president that is so clearly racist.

I never imagined that I would see a U.S. president so unqualified for the job.

I never imagined that I would see a U.S. president who is so similar to Hitler in what he says and tries to do.

I never imagined that I would see a U.S. president that would cause this great country to slide so quickly backwards.

So I find myself asking . . .

How many before me found themselves in similar circumstances and at what point they decided it was time to flee?

How many before me found themselves feeling that things would get better?

How many before me waited until it was too late to do anything?

How many before me had friends and family who thought they were crazy for even suggesting it was time to flee, let alone actually following thru?

Are we safer simply because it’s the U.S.?  Are we safer because of our government?  Are we safer because of history?

I know there are many who are in complete support of our current leadership and completely disagree with my assessment of our current president.

I know there are many who trust our elected officials to keep us safe.

I know there are many who think that even suggesting we should be concerned is crazy.

So I am not in agreement with everyone as they are not in agreement with me.  That doesn’t dismiss the fact that I just can’t shake this feeling that we are not really all that different from the many before us who found themselves in similar circumstances, with similar questions, who decided to stay and then regretted it.

I don’t know the answers to all the questions floating thru my brain these days, but I will continue to ponder the questions and pay attention while hoping that things get better.



Try, Try Again

I’ve started several blog posts over the last week and have yet to finish any of them.

Writer’s block?

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A little bit.

I have things to write about.  After all, I’m living life and that alone gives all of us something to write about.  My struggle seems to be fear.  Fear that I’m going to cross a line if I share too many of my thoughts and feelings.  Fear that my readers won’t want to read.  Fear of negative comments.


This is my blog.  I should be able to write whatever I feel and if someone doesn’t like it, they can move on, right?!

Some are very good about doing this.  Others feel it is their destiny in life to criticize and condemn those who they don’t agree with.  It’s the single biggest reason I dislike social media.  It’s also one of the biggest reasons I removed myself from Facebook a few years ago (although after 1 1/2 years I returned).  Still, it’s those very people who feel the need to share their negativity with the world that I fear.

Silly, I suppose.  After all, I can easily delete comments, but I also think that everyone has a right to their opinion.  I just wish that those who want to share their opinion when not asked, would simply go write their own blog instead of stopping by to share their thoughts on a blog that doesn’t belong to them.  It’s what one invites into their life by blogging though.

So here I sit, with lots of thoughts on politics, equal rights, gardening, foster care, adoption, religion, woman’s rights, children, family, white privilege, travel, animals, pets, and much much more.  Some topics seeming to be non-controversial, while others easily ruffle feathers.

Instead, today I’ll write about trying and trying over and over again to work up the nerve to state my opinion on various topics.  Topics that I want my children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren to know about me when I’m gone.  My diary of sorts, put out on public display for others to read then decide to agree, disagree or not really care about.

And next time you tune in, you’ll either be reading about my children, adoption, my attempts at raising money for a foster care project (you can click here to see what I’m talking about), gardening or maybe, just maybe my thoughts on Trump or equal rights or racism.



Fearing the Crossroads of Life

We have a beautiful RV that will allow us to travel and see this awesome country.  An opportunity to find that one place where we feel most at home and want to settle for the rest of our lives.  I can tell you this for sure, we don’t want to live where we are now for the rest of our lives.

Then there is the homestead.  That part of me that aches to live in the country with my chickens, ducks, guinea fowl and goats.  I must not forget my family and dogs as well 🙂

We are at a crossroads.  That moment in life where we are truly able to choose our path.  I suppose one could argue that based on that definition, we are always at a crossroads in our life.  I’m not sure I would disagree with that.  We always have the option of choosing our path and we chose the path we are on now.

On the surface, it may appear that we have turned down the wrong road, but I don’t necessarily believe there is a wrong road.  Any direction we turn allows us the opportunity to live, to experience and to learn.  Maybe it’s a road that didn’t take us to our intended destination. Maybe it’s a road we took, not knowing exactly where we wanted to go.  Still, every road leads somewhere and we just need to be open to the possibilities.  We need to be willing to accept the challenges along the way and live life to the fullest while hoping we’ve made the right choice.

Therein lies the problem.  I have not been willing to live life to the fullest.  I’m willing to look at all the reasons I can’t move from Point A to Point B or Point B to Point C.  I’m willing to stay put to avoid the possibility that the end of the road may not be pretty enough or desirable enough.  I’m willing to stay in a place I don’t want to be simply because I fear the crossroads.

The question is, how do I quit fearing the crossroads of life?  How do I leave the familiar and choose a path that has the potential of taking me on the most wonderful adventure of my life?

I admire those who are able to as Nike says, “Just Do It”!  Not that there isn’t fear in “Just Do It”, but they don’t allow fear to be in control.  That’s the attitude I must strive to achieve because life is really too short to not, “Just Do It”!  Life is too short to be fearful of the what ifs.  It’s too short to be fearful of the crossroads of life.