We’ve all had those days. You know, the ones that make you feel like you should have just stayed in bed or at the very least gone back to bed in an attempt to start all over again. Because somehow, staying in bed or going back to bed is sure to improve the day.

Yesterday was that day in our house. The day didn’t necessarily start off bad and the girls were having a pretty good day. Yet, a few things happened that sent my day tumbling downhill. We received some news that was difficult to hear. It was the kind of information that causes doubt and uncertainty to take over the mind.  The kind of information that makes you realize things are going to change and while you hope they will change for the better, it’s hard to see that at the moment.   It made me feel as if we were stuck in a situation that felt so completely out of our control and I found myself looking at all the potential outcomes. It was wearing me out.  By late afternoon, I was ready to hang it up for the day, go to bed, bury my head under the blankets and try again tomorrow.

I woke up this morning still thinking of yesterday’s events. That feeling of being stuck and worry continued to plague my mind.  Then I began moving thru the morning. I fed the girls, fed and watered the dogs, got everyone dressed and headed out to Lili’s riding lesson. It was a typical day, but my thoughts continued to stray to the previous day and that one piece of news I couldn’t get off my mind.

When we returned home, I found this in my email.

If you feel like you’re completely stuck in life right now with nowhere to go, realize you are lying to yourself. You have imprisoned yourself in your own mind by telling self-defeating stories – stories about what your life should be like, what should or should not have happened, and so on and so forth. By doing this you’ve created a tiny space in your mind and you’ve begun to believe you are actually living in it.

But you are NOT. You are alive in a vast world with infinite destinations. Take a moment to remind yourself of this. Go outside. Look at the sky and the clouds. THIS is the space in which you really live. Breathe it in. Then look at your current situation again.

When someone younger than me (or someone who simply has far less life experience) asks me about how to overcome the pain and frustration associated with life’s unexpected setbacks, this is how I explain it to them:

If you feel like you’re completely stuck in life right now with nowhere to go, realize you are lying to yourself. You have imprisoned yourself in your own mind by telling self-defeating stories – stories about what your life should be like, what should or should not have happened, and so on and so forth. By doing this you’ve created a tiny space in your mind and you’ve begun to believe you are actually living in it.

But you are NOT. You are alive in a vast world with infinite destinations. Take a moment to remind yourself of this. Go outside. Look at the sky and the clouds. THIS is the space in which you really live. Breathe it in. Then look at your current situation again.

When someone younger than me (or someone who simply has far less life experience) asks me about how to overcome the pain and frustration associated with life’s unexpected setbacks, this is how I explain it to them:

 

 

 

Look at the circles above. The black circles represent our relative life experiences. Mine is larger because I am older than you and have experienced more in my lifetime. The smaller red circles represent a negative event that has taken place in our lives. Assume we both experienced the same exact event, whatever the nature. Notice that the negative event circles are the same size for each of us; but also notice what percentage of the area they occupy in each of the black circles. Your negative event seems much larger to you because it is a greater percentage of your total life experiences. I am not diminishing the importance of this event; I simply have a different perspective on it.

What you need to understand is that an overwhelmingly painful and frustrating event in your life right now will one day be part of your much larger past (and pool of experience) and not nearly as significant as it seems.

Hopefully knowing this changes your perspective and gives you a good reason to NOT give up. And truthfully, this is just one small example of how you can shift your thinking and renew your sense of hope. The bottom line is that you can make many small, internal adjustments starting today that will help you feel better, think more clearly, and grow beyond life’s painful setbacks when they happen.

Look at the circles above. The black circles represent our relative life experiences. Mine is larger because I am older than you and have experienced more in my lifetime. The smaller red circles represent a negative event that has taken place in our lives. Assume we both experienced the same exact event, whatever the nature. Notice that the negative event circles are the same size for each of us; but also notice what percentage of the area they occupy in each of the black circles. Your negative event seems much larger to you because it is a greater percentage of your total life experiences. I am not diminishing the importance of this event; I simply have a different perspective on it.

What you need to understand is that an overwhelmingly painful and frustrating event in your life right now will one day be part of your much larger past (and pool of experience) and not nearly as significant as it seems.

Hopefully knowing this changes your perspective and gives you a good reason to NOT give up. And truthfully, this is just one small example of how you can shift your thinking and renew your sense of hope. The bottom line is that you can make many small, internal adjustments starting today that will help you feel better, think more clearly, and grow beyond life’s painful setbacks when they happen.

This is a blog post from Marc and Angel Hack Life http://www.marcandangel.com/.  My hubby had subscribed to their blog a while back and would send me posts that he found particularly applicable at the moment.  I enjoyed reading them so much that I subscribed as well and the post today couldn’t have come at a better time.

I needed some outside perspective.  I needed to be reminded that we are not stuck and we do have control over what happens in our life.  We can’t completely control what other people say or do in an attempt to change the direction of our life, but they ‘are not’ in control unless we allow them to be in control.  I also don’t have to allow less than desirable information to ruin any of my day, unless I allow it to.  I am strong! My family is strong!!! We have the power to overcome any obstacle in the way.  At times it may make things more challenging than desired, but we choose the way forward.

That tiny space in my mind is being closed. My head is not buried under the blankets. I’m choosing to look at the sky and clouds.  I’m will breathe it in and remember that we are alive. This is nothing more than a small setback in our life and our life is full of infinite possibilities for today and the future.