Just a quick update to let everyone know that we’re doing okay.
I can only imagine how scary, frustrating and confusing it is to be removed from your home only to be placed with complete strangers. As such, we have certainly had some challenges.
Because I can’t give any information on the boys, including their names, I’ll simply refer to them as FS1 and FS2. FS1 is our almost 4-yr-old foster son and FS2 is our almost 9-month-old foster son.
FS1 has had some difficulty settling in to the rules in our house. Simple things such as no hitting, no grabbing toys from others, being kind to others, etc. Rules that most of us learned along the way, but rules that have been somewhat tough for him to follow. Time-out is our preferred method of correction for broken rules and he proved that he wasn’t going to follow the time-out rules either. I would sit him in time-out and he would tell me no, jump up and try to run away from me. Put him back in time-out and the same thing. Put him back in time-out and the same thing. Eventually I told him that if he couldn’t sit nicely in time-out, he would need to go to his room. Guess who was escorted to him room and guess who was even less pleased with that option. Hitting and kicking ensued which required intervention on my part to make sure he didn’t injure me or himself. Eventually, he calmed down and all the hurt, anger, frustration and confusion came spilling out in tears. It’s amazing what a little cuddle time and understanding will do to help mend a broken heart. He’s had a couple other out-of-control episodes like this, but I’m happy to report that for the last couple of days, any time-outs given have been accepted without confrontation and overall, he is a sweet little guy who has been dealt a very bad hand of cards.
FS2 spent the first 3 days crying more than anything else. He would just look around the room trying to figure out what was happening. Sleep was almost non-existent and he was exhausted, as was I. He needed to understand that we would be there for him, so there was a lot of holding, rocking, cuddling, feeding, bathing and playing. By the 3rd day we were seeing many more smiles and had started to hear him laugh. By the 4th night he began sleeping thru the night. He smiles and laughs many times throughout the day, crying when he is hungry, tired, needs a diaper change or simply needs to be held. He has stolen the hearts of those who have met him and is a very different baby from the one I picked up 1 1/2 weeks ago.
We have some developmental concerns about FS1. We believe the delays we are seeing are simply lack of opportunity and with a lot of work here at home and some outside intervention, I have every reason to believe he’ll be just fine.
The girls were very excited about having the boys come to live with us. The newness began to wear off by the 2nd day and Naomi began to ask when they were going back home. She is better now, calling FS1 brother and very much acting like the older bossy sister.
Lili has taken responsibility for FS2. He lights up when she walks in the room and she lights up when she sees him. They are building a very special relationship which is awesome to see.
We have explained to the girls that our job is to give the boys a home with love and care until their parents are able to care for them again. Lili very much understands this and has told me that she will be sad and will probably cry when they have to leave, but it doesn’t stop her from giving her all.
Hubby and I are desperately trying to find a good routine and balance. As much as we would like it to happen overnight, it just isn’t going to happen that quickly. At this point, I’m just thrilled that I have managed to get some laundry done, the dishwasher filled and run on a daily basis and everyone fed. Eventually we’ll all settle in and find what works best for all of us. It may take a few months, but it will happen.
Now, if I can just find the time to get my tomatoes made into sauce and canned, I’ll really be doing good!!