A few days ago, we had a visit from ANW’s case worker. As all case workers are required to do in the State of Texas, she came for her monthly visit to make sure ANW is doing well and to give us an update.
She confirmed that the 90-day hearing was last week. This is the required hearing after termination of parental rights. There was nothing unexpected that happened at the hearing and she has now turned everything over to the adoption unit. Hopefully before the end of the month, we’ll be contacted by the new adoption case worker to begin the adoption process.
I’m feeling a great sense of relief while also feeling some sadness that this chapter of her life will be coming to an end in the next few months. Hubby and I are over the moon in love with this baby girl and can’t wait to legally become her parents. At the same time, she has biological parents. Unlike some other adoptive parents, I don’t feel that she was meant to be ours all along. No child is born to be removed from their parents and placed with complete strangers, yet circumstances cause this to happen far too often. Our choice to open our home to children coming into the foster care system allowed us to be the recipients of this beautiful and remarkable baby girl and now we will be raising her to adulthood.
Words can never fully express the millions of thoughts and feelings I have about adoption. I feel great happiness for myself because I love her beyond words and don’t have to say good-bye. I will continue to raise her, watching her grow, teaching her how to talk, walk, read, write, and all the other things parents get to do. Equally, I feel great sadness for her biological family. Not only do they miss out on knowing this marvelous little girl, but this miss out on all those milestones along the way. For ANW, I have the mixture of emotions. Without a doubt, she loves having me as her mommy, hubby as her daddy, and her sisters. She would experience great trauma leaving us now, but at the same time, there will come a day when she will begin wondering why she isn’t being raised by her biological parents. She will ask questions. She will likely feel sadness and confusion. You see adoption is never the first best option. It’s never the second best option. At best, it comes in third place and that’s a difficult place to be in for anyone.
The nice thing is that I do have the contact information for the caregivers of her siblings. My hope is that we can establish a relationship so she continues to have a relationship with them throughout her life.
So we are moving forward by soon saying good-bye to this chapter in our lives and moving on to the next.