Finding Me Again

I can vividly remember learning how to cook spaghetti in my local 4-H club. I remember how excited I felt about cooking my first spaghetti dinner for my family and even more excited that my dinner actually turned out to be pretty darn good. Cooking and baking was something I really did enjoy as a child and into my adult years, but somewhere along the line I allowed convenience to stand in the way of doing something I enjoyed. I got in a rut.  It became easier to throw a frozen pizza into the oven, drive-thru at lunch or have hubby bring dinner home from the nearest Chinese restaurant.

Gardening was another love I discovered in my early adult life – digging in the dirt, sowing seeds, planting starter plants, watering, weeding, watching things grow and enjoying the tasty fruits of my labor – it is so satisfying and rewarding to me, yet it was something else I allowed to be pushed aside for a lifestyle that is more convenient.

Unfortunately, by trading in the things I enjoyed for convenience, I became someone else. I became someone I didn’t know and someone I didn’t necessarily like a lot.  I became lazy and unmotivated.  I honestly believe that homesteading will allow the real me to emerge. Living the homesteading lifestyle is like finding me again.

To prepare ourselves for a life that is going to be very different from the one we’ve been living, I am making changes now.  Instead of convenience, I am working harder and trying to be more creative. Instead of buying a loaf of bread at the grocery store, I’m making my own.  Instead of having hubby stop for some take-out on his way home, I’m using what we have at home to create meals.  I’m trying things I’ve not done before and setting goals to try more new things as the year progresses.

Here’s a great example.  Yesterday, Naomi asked for graham crackers.  I haven’t been to the grocery store in about a week and didn’t have any graham crackers so she was out of luck.  Or was she?  I did a quick search on-line, looked in my cupboards and discovered I had everything we needed to make our own graham crackers.  So, we got out the mixer and prepared the dough.  After lunch I rolled out sheets of graham cracker dough, pulled out 3 cookie cutters and let the girls cut out different graham cracker shapes.  After 12 minutes in the oven they were done.

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They took about 45 minutes of my time, were fun to make and cost a fraction of what I would have spent on a box of graham crackers off a grocery store shelf.  The girls and I did something we’ve never done before and we used ingredients I already had on hand.  That’s homesteading and homeschooling at its finest 🙂  But the icing on the cake is the satisfaction and enjoyment I got from creating something fresh and tasty with my own two hands.

There is so much to look forward to!!  Like the day I can actually dunk my fresh, homemade graham cracker into a big glass of  goat’s milk from our very own goats.  That will be pure satisfaction and enjoyment for me!!!

It feels good to be finding me again and you know what?  I think I might actually like me!

6 thoughts on “Finding Me Again

  1. Bonnie Yancey

    Oh Debbie – your comment about “I might actually like me” makes me so sad. But I understand what you mean and the context in which it was said. I have so much I want to say about this but I will just leave it as – whether you cook for yourself or eat take-out every day doesn’t make you who you are. I understand what you are saying but I just want you to stop being so hard on yourself. I love you whether you are growing your own tomatoes or foraging for them in the wilds of Meijer.
    ~Bonnie

    1. Honestly Bonnie, I’ve felt a little sad about the direction my life had taken. I had become someone I really didn’t know and really didn’t like much. I had traded in so many things I enjoyed for a lifestyle that wasn’t allowing me to feel like me. I’ve always been here, just lost and buried under a pile of stuff that wasn’t important in my life. I lost the essence of who I am and I’m finding that person again. I’m emerging and I think I may just actually like me. After all, life is a journey full of ups and downs and experiences that allow us to grow and become the best version of ourselves. But like many journey’s, we lose our way and I’m finding my way again.

      Thank you for commenting and saying such sweet things. I love you too my friend and miss seeing you.

      And the girls were satisfied with their work. They just finished a little graham cracker snack and now we’re getting back to school business.

  2. I haven’t attempted graham crackers yet but I am sure it is coming. The funny thing is I am becoming somewhat “self-sufficient” (especially with cooking) but I was “forced into it” to meet the needs of one of my children. And there are times I would rather just go out and eat (I do miss that, especially seafood). But I am so proud when I pull out my own homemade French bread or whip up my own peanut butter!

  3. Melanie

    stopping by to say hi.
    nice to catch up with peoples blogs.
    in case you haven’t heard, we’re coming stateside – NC, also trying to find some land to put some goats and chicken on it + going back to homeschooling, too.
    + we changed our eating habits about 3 months ago and ‘went back to the roots” – all organic, all from scratch….we feel so much better.
    nice to see somebody else with similar interests… 🙂
    how are the littlest ones + how is life w/o FB?
    miss chatting with you – let’s stay in touch.
    blessings,
    mel

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