As Mother’s Day Approaches

Those who are on Facebook are familiar with the little reminders that pop up on an almost daily basis.   This time of the year, many are likely receiving reminders of Mother’s Day posts from years past.

For many, Mother’s Day isn’t all roses and breakfast in bed.  It’s happiness and sadness intertwined.

Here is a memory that recently popped up on my Facebook page.

https://worldofweeks.com/2011/05/08/the-life-of-a-mother/

 

Celebrating Family

Ah Mother’s Day!

For me, I wish the holiday didn’t exist. That may seem strange coming from the mother of 5, but there is so much loss associated with this holiday that doesn’t bring me joy.

Our son passed away the day after Mother’s Day six years ago. Not that I don’t have regular reminders that he is gone, but this is a major reminder that causes me to relive that day all over again.

For my girls, they are reminded of the mothers they don’t have in their lives. While they are happy to do things for me, it’s still tough to know they have other mothers they aren’t able to celebrate with each year.

Then there are our foster sons who I still miss terribly. They have a mother they only see weekly, if that. They have a foster mother (me), who they had to say good-bye to a few months ago. Now they celebrate with another foster mother, not knowing what next year brings.

While I’m thankful that I am a mother, I don’t need a holiday to remind me of that fact and my children don’t need a reminder of their losses.

Because I like to be on the go most of the time, we took the girls and drove by the house we’re buying. The girls hadn’t seen the house yet and it seemed strange that we may be moving in a few weeks to a house they have never seen. Although we couldn’t go inside, they were excited to see it. We also drove through the neighborhood to take a closer look.

One thing we really liked about it, is the fact that the house is on a street that leads to a cul-de-sac. For a matter-of-fact, there are about three other streets that branch off in the neighborhood and every street is a cul-de-sac. No heavy traffic. Just people in the neighborhood coming and going.

As we left the neighborhood, we headed off to see what was nearby. Going either direction, we have very easy access to Target, Lowe’s, grocery stores, shopping centers, gas stations, Starbucks, etc. Everything we could want or need will be no more than 6-8 miles round trip.

We had lunch at a pizza place not far from the house and will definitely be going back.

Then we took a drive to hubby’s office to get a better idea of what his commute might look like. Currently it takes him 1:00 – 1:15 to get to work. His commute should be more like 20 – 30 minutes from the new house. Of course everything around here depends on traffic, but that’s so much better than what he drives now.

From his office we headed back to the house on a non-toll road route. Even going that direction, he will shave 20-30 minutes off his commute and will save quite a bit a month in tolls.

After our little journey to hubby’s office and back, we stopped for some ice cream. Not just any ice cream, but Ben and Jerry’s!!!! The shopping center we were at, was very nice and had a large movie theater. It was maybe 3 miles from the new house, if that.

We headed back to our RV home traveling new roads again. I found out that we’ll be fairly close to the salon where Lili and I go to get our hair done. Bonus!!!! No need to find someone new to do our hair.

If we can get the appraisal done in time, our closing date has been moved up from June 15th to May 26th. In less than three weeks, we may be moving into our new home. Of course since we’re buying VA, getting the appraisal done in time is the big question mark, but no matter what, we will very likely be moving before the original June 15th closing date. That’s important as Naomi’s birthday is June 15th. It would be so nice to living in our new hI rouse to celebrate her 7th birthday. Fingers crossed that everything moves along smoothly.

Now this day comes to a close.  We enjoyed the day not celebrating me nearly as much as we celebrated our little family.  That made today a good day!

 

 

 

Mother’s Day, Not Always a Day of Celebration

Today is the day we honor our mothers.  It’s a day set aside for moms to laugh, to smile, to enjoy being treated to a nice meal not prepared by a mother’s hands.  For some though, it’s a day of mourning.  It’s a day of looking around the table and feeling sorrow for the empty seat that was once occupied by a loving son or daughter.  For some, it’s sorrow for a womb that has remained empty.  A void, a longing for a child.  For some, it’s sadness for the child a mother was unable to raise herself.  For some, it’s the grieving of a mother that is gone or a mother estranged from the family.

I understand the importance of Mother’s Day, especially to my children.  A day for them to give me gifts and to treat me to lunch (with daddy’s help).  A day of learning to better appreciate me as their mother.  At the same time, this day is a day of real sadness in my home.

Today I think of one mother in Guatemala and one in Ethiopia.  Mothers, who every day think of the daughters they were unable to raise.  I think of these women every day, especially today.

-Jody Landers #Adoption

I also think of the mother of our foster sons.  Her life isn’t something I understand, but I do believe she is probably missing her boys today.

Today I feel the loss of my youngest son more than usual.  The last time I saw him alive was Mother’s Day.  It was May 9, 2010.  The next day he was gone.  For me, this is much more the anniversary of his death than it is Mother’s Day.  It’s not a day I want to celebrate.

If, for whatever reason, you are not celebrating Mother’s Day today, please know you are not alone.

"A mother's grief and mourning knows NO end, her love---NO boundaries." ~TeriAnn Sargent / "Every Angel Parent can face the ultimate tragedy and survive. It's the day-to-day living, after the fact, that will bring you to your knees." ~ B. J. Karrer of Grieving Mothers/FB [Click here - http://mothergrievinglossofchild.blogspot.com/2014/05/thursdays-therapy-surviving-mothers-day.html ] Mother Grieving Loss of Child - Thursday's Therapy - Surviving Mother's Day